Becoming a Mom Changed How I See My Work — Here's What I Mean

Motherhood is staying up late to get other stuff done. It's looking at pictures of your son from two months ago when you're supposed to be getting other stuff done. It's tears on your closet floor and in the shower because wow, what a gift giving birth is. And sometimes, it's just letting your baby cry because you are so, SO tired.

I've been turning a lot of these thoughts over in my head lately, and some of you have been asking questions too — close friends, family, patients. So I thought I'd take a little space to reflect on what the last several months have actually felt like, both personally and professionally. 

This is an invitation, too. If something here resonates, or you think it might help normalize something for a friend, please reach out or pass it along. Growing and raising humans takes a village, and my hope is that by sharing a little of my journey, it positively impacts someone else's.

What surprised you most about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum?

All of it is harder than I expected. And I say that as someone completely surrounded by moms. Friends who are moms, family, my own mom. Was I somehow not paying attention to how hard all of these women were working? What a truly selfless mission motherhood is. Maybe people did tell me and I didn't listen. Maybe you can only truly understand it when you're living it. Either way, I feel like I've entered a new chapter of empathy for my patients that I didn't even know I was missing before.

Pregnancy: I was most surprised by how the physical changes of pregnancy affect everything - how you move, how you sleep, how you walk. And feeling those kicks and movements from this little person you haven't yet met. There's nothing quite like it!

Birth: I was genuinely afraid I wouldn't know how to push the baby out. And then your body just... knows. (Also, sorry to any soon-to-be moms reading this, but the pain of labor. Wow.)

Postpartum: what an emotional roller coaster (and that feels like an understatement). It’s magical to get to know and spend time with the little human you gave birth to, but that comes with oh-so-many challenges as well. I've leaned so heavily on my girlfriends during this time. Several of my closest friends had babies around the same time, and I genuinely cannot imagine what the middle-of-the-night shifts would have looked like without being able to talk/text with them.

You've been part of so many moms feeling confident in their bodies. What does it feel like to now be on the other side of that conversation?

I feel like I have joined the motherhood club that so many of my patients belong to!

I now know what it is to feed a baby eight times a day and have something (a baby or a pump!!) constantly pulling on your body. I've always loved working out, but I've had to become okay with being softer in this season. My body doesn't have to be perfect right now. It just has to feed my baby and show up for him.

One thing that's struck me: I ask every patient coming in for breast surgery "did you breastfeed?" It's such a routine question in a consultation. But wow… I now understand what an undertaking breastfeeding actually is! There are so many challenges, and I have so much more appreciation now for however moms feed their babies. Such a simple question on my end, and such a loaded, meaningful experience on theirs.

I'm not there yet personally, but I can already see a time when you want to reclaim your body and do something for you. And I'm so glad I get to be part of that for women.

Has becoming a mom shifted how you think about the work you do?

It's made it more meaningful. Period.

I now know from experience that our bodies are not really our own for quite a while during pregnancy and postpartum. And there may come a point when you want to reclaim your body, along with some of your own self. I'm still wrapping my head around the full complexity of that. Being a mom is such a privilege, and also such a sacrifice. I love that I get to be there for women who are ready to do something for themselves.

Living through the stretching, the changes, seeing how your skin and your body are different on the other side — it's given me a greater appreciation for what I'm helping to restore. It feels like a rather sacred kind of work.

Has any of this changed your clinical advice around timing for postpartum procedures?

The clinical guidelines haven't changed. Waiting 6 months after breastfeeding has concluded before breast surgery, waiting until you're done having children before an abdominoplasty – those all remain true.

What has changed is the depth of meaning I bring to those conversations now. I have a greater appreciation for everything women's bodies do during and after pregnancy. And that makes the work of helping restore some of that (physically and emotionally) feel even more significant.